Counselling -

How to Really Touch a Man's Heart

In the workplace it's just fine for a woman to give another female co-worker a supportive hug. The supportive hug provides assurance that words alone would be hard pressed to provide. Hugs like this are healthy and fulfill an important role.

Men have very few options for healthy physical touch. This isn't the case if they live in a country like Italy or Greece. In those places, openly showing affection is normal and acceptable.

Men can't do much more than a handshake in their workplace. A man can go days and weeks without ever being touched by another human being.

Now let's consider a married couple and how this scenario plays out. Let's assume the couple has young children. Whether the wife is working outside the home or not, she is giving and receiving physical affirmation often. Breaks from the children can be a real blessing for her at times.

Now her husband comes home from work and he hasn't touched another human being all day. He wants to be touched. A disagreement regarding sex is now highly probable. She feels they had sex just a couple days ago and for him it feels like weeks. A man's options for affection are very limited. Our main source for physical affection is our wives.

So the wife feels over stimulated and the husband feels starved.

What can be done?

Ladies, it's essential to create the habit of touching your husband. Make it a top priority. A man craves more than anything the acceptance of his wife. If he doesn't feel he's getting this, he will eventually give up putting effort into the relationship.

Schedule regular times for sex with your husband like you would any other important appointment. Keep your commitments. This idea may not live up to your idea of fantasy. That's not what's most important to men. If they aren't receiving physical affection from you, then they won't get any. That is the beginning of the end for the relationship.

Men, don't pretend like you don't have a need for non sexual physical contact from your wife or from other human beings. Physical touch is a normal human need and nothing to be ashamed of. It does not mean you are weak and therefore flawed.

Learn to touch your wife physically in ways that don't lead directly to sex. Do it because you want to show her how much you care and like to be near her, not just because you want to have sex.